How to Start Over?

The tune and lyrics of the song by the BeeGees--How Do You Mend a Broken Heart--have been running through my head today.  My heart was shattered the day that Tom died.  In actuality, my life was turned upside down on June 30, 2014, the day that Tom was diagnosed.  I have been thinking lately about how to rebuild my life, a life without Tom in it.  He was an integral part of my daily life for about half of my life.  How do I start over?  The last thirteen months I have been processing his loss, I have been dealing with death duties (although there are still many to finish). 

Recently it occurred to me that I have to start over--that a major part of grieving the loss of my husband is also in grieving who I was, what our life was, the future we had planned.  I know this is not news to many, but it seemed like an epiphany.  Dealing with the sadness of Tom's death has been the focus of the last year.  Now I have to figure out where to go from here.  I'm not a wife anymore.  When my parents died, I was still a daughter, but I am no longer a wife.  I loved being a wife, Tom's wife.  I've just started to try out the words "late husband" when talking to people who do not know the story.  I'm not sure I like it much.  Tom was never late, so it seems rather ironic that the "correct" description for him is "late".  I never considered this part of the story.  I wish I didn't have to.